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I read about a man with a porn collection so big it took up 4-thousand Gigabytes (4 Terabytes). That's a lot. The thing about obsessions is that they seem perfectly reasonable from the inside. But what's all the nervous energy masking? And why doesn't it ever feel satisfied? And why does that dragon keep knocking down my door?

lyrics

Dragon Collector

Percival Fontenblau was the sort of chap
prone to a bit of bragging!
He’d like to tell you that he had the largest collection
in the world of things to do with dragons!

He had a dragon tea-cosy for his
dragon tea-pot, and a dragon doona for his dragon bed.
A snazzy dragon door-knocker to announce visitors
and a dragon top hat for his head.

He had a dragon quill pen to write in his dragon note book,
and a floral dragon made of plastic carnations.
He had a dragon T-Shirt for every day of the week,
and dragon boxer shorts for those special occassions.

The collection filled his entire house
and his enthusiasm showed no signs of lagging.
Every new acquisition made his Aunty Petunia declare:
“That Percival sure do love dragons!”

The story of Percival’s collection reached
the ears of the Dragon at the bottom of the sea.
He was quite touched by all this dragon-devotion
and decided to drop in for afternoon-tea.

That very afternoon Percival was in the dragon bath tub,
and he heard the dragon door knocker go “rat a tat tat tat!”
Percival was furious! saying “I’m busy being a bathing dragon,
and nothing’s more important than that!”

He put on his dragon bath robe, dragon scarf and dragon slippers,
ready to give this vistor a good finger wagging!
But when he opened the door he nearly died of fright –
for there was a real-life, big-as-a-house, dragon!

Percy squealed as the dragon came through the doorway,
denting the dragon door knocker just a smidgeon.
The dragon elbow smashed the china cabinet full of “Dragon Figurines™”
and all of them limited edition!

The dragon tail swiped the piles of “Dragon Enthusiast Magazine”,
ripping apart their never-yet-opened plastic sleeves.
His spiky dragon crest broke the dragon light shade
and spilt a cup of Water-Dragon-Herbal-Tea.

The Dragon began to formally say hello
even as the Dragon-coffee-table was squashed beneath his feet.
He turned to greet Percival – only to see the dear boy
running for dear life down the street.

Percival ran and ran until his dragon slippers slipped off,
Running even after he lost his dragon scarf.
When he lost his dragon bath robe, though, it was all too much –
they finally found him hiding in Aunty Petunia’s bath.

Now these days Percival collects things based around kittens –
he’s got paintings, ceramic sculptures and hats.
All the collectables, but alas! no actual feline.
It seems Percival is allergic to cats!

credits

from Tales of the Rainbow Gnome, released March 17, 2017

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about

Brendan O'Shea Sunshine Coast, Australia

In his past Brendan has been a Buddhist monk, a yoga teacher, a graphic designer and he is almost qualified as a Transpersonal Counsellor. He started writing poetry 4 years ago as part of self-healing, and these are some of the most popular. He lives with his wife Kerry near Maleny. ... more

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